#41 – Total Recall (2012)

When: Monday, August 13, 2012

With Who: A buncha strangers

Where: Torrance, CA AMC Theater

How: Upgraded Silver Ticket

Why: Dude, the first one was a classic. And one of my favorite Ahnuld movies

 

I know, I know. Here it is

Dammit man! Dammit!

I had such high hopes for this movie. Loved the original, the trailer of this one looked awesome, excited as I sat in the theater waiting for the lights to go dim.

CRAP!

I didn’t like it at all!!!

And I tried. I really really tried. They did well in not copying the exact same stories. There were many differences. But I didn’t mind that. If I wanted the exact same movie I’d pop in the original

My problem with it is that it felt forced and I was bored, actually bored (which never happened even while watching the original for the 10oth time).

You really never gave a crap about Doug and while the first one was well ahead of its time, this one seemed to take several steps back in technology from the 1990 version!

Think about the detail in the first one. The characters you liked. The cab driver with five, four kids to feed. The midget with the machine gun skills. The short, pudgy co-worker who told him not to go to Recall in the first place. Even the villains were more entertaining in that one and the actions for him to overcome were more fun. Instead of putting his tracker in a rat, as in the first one, they gave it to a random kid in this one, who served no purpose. Rats are better than people? No! But it’s more original, especially when you have a armed villains trying to shoot at said tracker not realizing it’s a rat.

And don’t even get me started on the…..hold on

My thoughts:

  • ….on the city! The best way I can describe “the future” is Tokyo with the lights out. Seriously.
  • We don’t care that you have to ride a long worm to work and that we have to watch that. Think about it! They actually made us watch a man travel to work. And this was….a….well…it, hell I have no idea. What next? Are we going to watch a woman cook an entire breakfast from scratch? Oh joy. Great film-making there
  • I’ll bet a million dollars Collin Ferrell was not the first choice for this movie. A movie billed as this large had to go through the hands of so many bigger stars. Bet money he got it because they ALL passed on it. I’m starting a rumor that Chris Rock probably passed on it too.
  • Did you notice when he walked through that detector wearing that neck thingy that makes him change faces, that lady that walked in front of him (and paused) was the same lady in the original that Ahnold disguised himself as? She was even wearing the same dress.
  • Speaking of that little neck thingy, after he was discovered they tried to shoot him and he hid in the crowd of people that were laying down on the floor. How come he didn’t just reactivate that neck thing as someone else before he came up to shoot back. They wouldn’t have known it was him.
  • You leave a safety deposit box to yourself with money (with Obama on the bill) and a bunch of other stuff, but no gun? Word? Why would you do that? In the first one, the gun, the video, and even the device to pull the chip out of his nose was included in the case. All the things a spy would need. I think in this one the box probably included tic tacs.

I could go on and on but I won’t. In my opinion (and yes as with all movies I’m sure there are some of you out there probably claiming this as the best movie of the year), this is one of the worst remakes ever. Ever!!! I couldn’t have been more disappointed. If you’re going to retell a classic at least put some money into the visuals and tell a good story. So disappointed.

19 to go….

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